Freshman girl 1: She's always got that shit-eating grin on her face.
Freshman girl 2: Yeah, I know, ever since she hooked up with the lead singer of Dispatch.
FG 1: Wait, I thought I hooked up with the lead singer of Dispatch.
FG 2: Then either you... or she...
FG 1: It's like an episode of "Ghostwriter."
Guy 1: I wouldn’t recommend her, she’s not terribly attractive.
Guy 2: No. She’s kind of horse-faced... but, then again, I really like horses.
Guy: I like that bracelet.
Girl: Thanks, it's an old family heirloom.
Guy: You say everything you have is a family heirloom.
Girl: Yeah, especially my "I'm a carrier for Tay-sachs syndrome.
Frat boy: I can't believe that grade inflation shit actually passed.
Emo kid: I know. I used think the faculty here was cool.
Frat boy: So, you going to transfer to Brown, now?
Emo kid: No, I'll probably just transfer to "totally anal."