Foresta

November 8, 2001

Verbatim

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Overheard outside the Art Museum

Doesn’t Islamic law say you get 67 virgins if you die in holy war?

Overheard outside Scully

All I’m saying is, Mother Teresa died a virgin. That might not be all that great.
Ok, Mother Teresa clearly did not die a virgin.
How do you know that?
You could see it in her eyes.

Overheard in Henry

There is such a thing as Caucasian-ness in a bottle. It’s called Budweiser.

Overheard in Little

I think she is off somewhere with a Jew-cock in her.
Yep. The question of which one is purely academic.

Overheard in Frist

At least she’s abroad this semester so I don’t have to hear him talk about how he likes to fart on her sweaty stomach after they fuck.

Overheard from a Wilson advisor

There was a black civil rights movement?

Professor Seegers, Pol 366 lecture

Loyalty is an overrated virtue. If you get into a bad marriage, get out. I haven’t even had a drink yet.

Overheard in Terrace Club

I have a penis, but it’s inverted and you can put other penises in it.
That’s a vagina.

Overheard in Aaron Burr

I went to special dinner with him last night at Rocky.
Special dinner?
Yeah, if by ‘special dinner’ I mean a pie plate with a hole poked in it and his dick sticking through.

Chemistry Professor

If you’ve never seen a set of balls before, you can stay after class and see mine.

In precept for CLA 212

Sorry but I haven’t looked at your papers yet because it didn’t fit into my plan of partying like a rockstar this weekend. I mean, you wouldn’t have wanted me to grade your papers while high on crack, would you?

While studying paintings for an art midterm

I would fuck her, if she was still alive.

Professor Amy Borovoy, ANT 390

See you on Thursday for our cockfight.