Fluffing Season

October 16, 2016


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Overheard at Standing Rock protest

Aspiring journalist: Hi, I’m a reporter for the Prince and I’m writing an article about the protest. Could you give me some quotes?

Overheard en route to the street

Gay sophomore girl: She could totally be gay. Her hips are, like, forward, you know?

Overheard off campus

Worldly sophomore: The sign says “Lingerie and more.” I’m guessing the more is dildos.

Overheard at EPS Corner

Radical feminist: Until I came to Princeton I thought all dads were terrible.

Overheard at MAE pregame

Upperclassman, beating his chest among a swarm of Mechanical Aerospace Engineering majors: We’re the most lit fucking major!

Overheard on the Street

Asian man, to friend: It’s neither heaven nor hell. It’s just Tower.

Overheard in Patton

Ex-Terran: We should all get tested for STDs together— wouldn’t that be a room bonding experience?
Later, Ex-Terran: Wait didn’t you get tested for STDs or something last year?
Chicagoan: No, I just thought I had AIDS.

Overheard on NJTransit

Frosh Valley Girl: I thought Newark was just a weird way of saying New York.

Overheard in HUM346 (In- troduction to Digital Humanities)

Woody Woo senior, definitively: Converting PDFs to Word is one of the biggest challenges that people face.

Overheard in Forbes Black Box

Student filled with wonderment at tale of limb breaking: I wish I had a broken bone.

Oveheard at Terrace

Caricature of a man: I got really into music once I learned how piracy worked.
Soon after, same man, dripping in hubris: I feel like I should have a whole page in Verbatim.

Overheard outside the Women’s Center

Princeton Students for Reproductive Justice officer applicant: They offered me a position on the abortion committee.

Overheard in Colonial

Math major senior working in finance next year: There are so many sellouts here that we had a sellout panel.

Overheard in HIS 448

Professor: The breakfast burrito, that magnificent imperialist thing, that appropriates multiple traditions and does justice to none

Overheard via iMessage

Woke male alum: ugh sorry that men r bad and also conditioned by patriarchal power structures to feel entitled to women’s bodies