Feline Fine

February 25, 2017


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Overheard at Terrace

Senior English major: Ever since my mom rediscovered weed in her midlife crisis, our vacations have improved dramatically.

Overheard in Frist

Sophomore Pi Phi: Fuck, I love Hammurabi.

Overheard in Ticos

Girl in ECS 391 - Holocaust Testimony: Honestly what we’re reading isn't so dense. It's mostly fiction, actually.

Overheard in Theresa’s

Sophomore Pi Phi: I can't be unattractive, it would ruin me.

Overheard in Studio 34

ART History major: Exponents are hard man. Like, how you multiply and divide them. Like what's two-thirds times four-sixths??

Overheard in Rocky

Brooklyn brownstone resident: I think I'd be a good bootlegger.

Overheard in Butler

Upper West Side sophomore: I realized I was the only white person in my precept as I was saying the sentence: "La La Land is a movie about jazz, and there are no black people."

Overheard in Whitman dining hall

Sophomore junior editor: My nipples are so destructible.

Overheard in Terrace

Ambitious woman: I am the only white girl from my freshman sem who hasn't won a major academic award!

Overheard in New South

Esteemed poet laureate Paul Muldoon: I wonder if I might be a weaboo?

Overheard in the CJL

Press Club Senior, to Jewish Woman: You're definitely in the 95th percentile of looking like Anne Frank.

Overheard on iMessage

Prep-school cum NYU friend: I just bought the most middle-class bong ever.

Overheard in East Pyne

Ivy sophomore: I hope Ivy charters a coach bus to go to Brunch-Con.

Overheard in South East Asia

Distraught Bro: What do these people do with the parts of the chicken I actually want to eat?!

Overheard in Theresa’s

WPRB station manager, to friend's parent: Have you heard of Pitchfork?

Overheard in Clapp Hall

ORFE major: The things I do for love… (in hushed tone) of money.