April 17, 2022

ElonParties: Full Design

In the final issue of the semester, the Nass telescopes “echo,” critiques optimism, and considers what it means to leave this place.


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Overheard in lecture

AAS Professor: I know it's hot, but W.E.B. Du Bois didn't have air conditioning and he managed to produce all that great work.

Overheard in Terrace

Stressed junior: “Should I take neuroscience?”

Wise senior: “Why would you?”

Stressed junior: “If I decide to be a neurosurgeon, I want the door to be open.”

Wise senior: “Life is about closing doors.”

Overheard in Terrace

Music aficionado: “Did you know that Chick Corea made an album with L. Ron Hubbard?”

Friend, googling: “Of course it’s called Space Jazz.”

Overheard at dinner

Contemplative diner: “It was literally a walk-in drive-through. A walk-through, you could say.”

Overheard over text

Sad junior: “My lamp just burned out. Is that representative of me?”

Friend: “Yeah, sorry, I’ve always known you were a light bulb.”

Overheard while getting ready

Enlightened girl: “They say ‘dress for the job you want, not the job you have’ and the job I want is somebody's weed-smoking girlfriend.”

Overheard in Firestone

Pre-med senior: “I want to find a partner who can titrate my acidity to a perfect light pink.”

Friend: “Yes! To the endpoint, and no further!”

Overheard in the middle of the night

Guy shouting: “Dude! Why are you peeing on a tree!”

Guy peeing on a tree: “Not me! Not me!”

Overheard at flexitarian feast

Carnivore: That was so filling, like I didn't think vegetarian food could be so filling.

Overheard in architecture library

Distressed white boy: "She can date whatever moron she wants. Just keep that shit out of Wucox Dining Hall."

Overheard during breakfast

Diner 1: “I haven't pushed anyone down the stairs in a while.”

Diner 2: “Got to get back into it.”