Early Bird

October 25, 2020

Early Bird – Full Design


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Overheard in Chaucer Class

I would rather suffocate on circus peanuts than eat candy corn.

Overheard while bra shopping

Self-hating English major, to another self-hating English major: You've come up with such creative ways to hate your body.

Overheard in the Kitchen

Boy eating a subpar ice cream sandwich: It doesn't make me sick, it just makes me sad.

Overheard on Instagram

English Major: Don't worry. I deal with garbage for a living.

Overheard in Philadelphia

Disillusioned junior: My daily Flintstone Vitamins are the only consistent thing in my life.

Overheard on Instagram

Overactive Imagination after listening to orchestra piece: I just spent ten minutes of my life creating a war story for a depressed fly.

Overheard in Quarantined House

Gemini: I love taking things too far, it's my favorite hobby.

Overheard in GSS Seminar

Student on Elite References in classes: I thought everyone here would be smart and I was wrong.

Overheard Studying

SPIA Major, getting ready for midterm: Damn, Kim Jong-un is one fat fuck.

Overheard in Quarantine

Sophomore dude, studying: I really think I was meant to be a 60's housewife.

Overheard over Video Call

Ungrateful college applicant to mentor: Why are you typing so aggressively? You only type aggressively when you're tired and won't put up with anyone's shit.

Overheard on the Phone

Comp Lit Professor, about jobs in finance: They take the worst morons and give them six figures to sit there breathing.

Overheard in Zoom Seminar

Professor to Grad Student, smiling on screen: You look too happy to actually be participating in class.

Overheard in Seminar

German Professor: I'm using a dead actress's perfume. Take that capitalism.

Overheard in an Apartment

English Major: I am a book evangelical. I will walk through a room of one hundred disgruntled lovers if it means someone will read The Unbearable Lightness of Being,