Senior girl 1, describing the catch phrase clue “Calf”: Baby cow.
Senior girl 2: Piglet! No wait, veal!
Advertising Manager, talking about his hair: It’s like Lindsay Lohan’s vagina on my head right now.
Pimply boy: I think I’d eat anyone’s poop if they were hot enough.
Woman, intently: I think that’s my definition of love: dying for someone.
Senior, quietly: I always thought Meghan Trainor was an Olympic athlete
Father of horrified prefrosh, stepping in front of oncoming car: LEGALLY THEY ARE OBLIGATED TO LET US CROSS
GSS Professor: I also want to emphasize that we will not be watching any pornography in class time.
Skinny junior editor: when I was fat I would put bandaids on my nipples because I didn’t like the way I looked in t shirts.
Stoned stoner, to no one in particular: It’s just — I — I just like spliffs, ok?
Junior Theta #1: I should get tested for STDs but I feel uncomfortable...
Junior Theta #2: You know what else is uncomfortable? Crabs.
Press club member: I’m like bigfoot: no one has ever seen me work.
Senior ti woman: You’re right. Bigfoot’s thesis is trash.
Anxious frosh, to himself: I need to drink a lot of water so I can urinate out all of my problems.
Rising sophomore: I don’t really remember the names of my elementary school teachers.
Rising junior: I remember everything from my childhood. I remember kindergarten. I remember preschool. I even remember breast feeding from my mom, which awkward to tell people.
Pi Phi Senior: It was a mediocre sexual experience with a bald man and I paid $100 for it.
Sophomore girl: She sang happy birthday to my IUD as she put it in.