Pi Phi junior: Sometimes, Newark looks like... the Middle East.
USG member: Yeah, well, you know Shawon. He has a vision. He has dreams.
(later) . . . USG is great. Everyone hates it most of the time, but it’s great.
Guy, pointing at piece of paper, to girl: Yo sorry can you read what this says?
Girl: ... Cock. It says “cock.”
Guy: Okay thanks.
Sedentary sophomore girl: I have a lot of friends who do activism. I like the idea of activism, just not the time committment.
Hellenic Tower junior: As a Greek, you bet I was wet with excitement the moment I walked in the door and saw all of the Grecian decorations set up for Towercules.
Cap alum: For anyone wondering: If you ever vomit in a NYC cab, you only need to pay a $50 “tip” #nyc
Ivy bro 1: What happened to that dude?
Ivy bro 2: He’s probably selling meth.
Ivy bro 1: Yeah, or like working at
Nass sophomore: I want to wear this outfit to my first husband’s funeral.
Football player at pregame, lifting shirt: Who here has a six pack, no homo.
White girl, to black girl: I need black people advice.
Large undergraduate male, attempting to rationalize the title of Much Ado About Nothing: Victorian women had nothing between their legs, so the play really means much ado about vaginas.
Patagonia-clad Ivy senior: Are any of your pledges freaky and 21?
Graduate student alum to visitor: It’s not as old as Harvard, but almost. *boisterous laughter*
14-year-old boy in suit: . . . And I was like BITCH you ain’t KNOW me.
23-year-old man, defensively: I just doodle by writing things I hear. Usually in cursive.
Pi Phi sophomore: Do you speak Slavic?
Junior male: No.
Pi Phi sophomore: Is Slavic even a language?
Junior male, laughing at her: Yes!
Pi Phi sophomore: Really? It doesn’t sound
Frist employee: I killed two deer last night.
Diary of Nass writer: totally not classy list of life makeouts: