Cyber Overlord Monday

December 2, 2018


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Overhead in Richardson

Naive, presumptuous freshman: Postgrad, I want to work at McKinsey and then Google.

Overheard in McCosh Infirmary

Nurse, peering into my throat: What is THAT?!?

Overheard on Elm Drive

*8-year-old throws snowball at group of passing students*
Students: Hey!!
8-year-old: Harvard's better.

Overheard at Holder Courtyard

Tourist, picking up phone to photograph Holder tower: What is this? A church?

Overheard in Forbes

Tigertone: The Me Too movement needs to get on Adam Sandler. There's no way he's clean.

Overheard in Frist

Boy, walking away: It was nice meeting you!
*No response; boy stops, comes back.*
Boy: Oh, it wasn't nice meeting me?
Girl, with forced smile: It was nice meeting you!

Overheard at Ivy

Posh senior Pi Phi: Is it lame to have a whole Insta story highlight reel of my dogs? Or is that just part of my branding...?

Overheard in Forbes

Licensed paramedic: A woman against urine is a woman for America.

Overheard at Wawa checkout counter

Disheveled platinum blond man with paint on his Andover sweatshirt: You only have cucumber?

Overheard in seminar

Emeritus professor: In general, Google is beyond my technical capacity.

Overheard in Little

Jew, with glasses: I feel lots of emotions. They're very healthy.
PDP ginger: Do you feel them all at the same time? That's schizophrenia.

Overhead in a dorm

Girl on phone, in tears: No, Mom, the problem is that he DOESN'T want sex!!!

Overheard in a Brooklyn loft

UPenn bro, wistfully: Philly coke, like, sucks.

Overheard in seminar

Khaki-clad boy: Did you know over half of the college Republicans at this school are Facebook

Overheard in Whitman

Freshman: I ate chicken in front of Peter Singer!
Friend: That’s awesome.
Freshman: Right?!

Overheard on the way to Ivy speakeasy

Terrace shaman: My moustache has a certain je ne sais quoi.

Overheard outside J Street

Sophomore girl to another sophomore girl, exasperated: Do you remember what it's like to make friends without having to, like, suffer?

Overheard in seminar

Senior Theta, intensely: If I walk through a cloud of Juul, I DO break out in hives.