This week, the Nass drives home, knocks on doors, and mourns the loss of a promising young writer.
Two homies holding hands while leaving the U-Store: We came, we menaced, we left.
A Professor Trelawney-esque, slightly tipsy girl: Wait, let me put “time to emotionally process” on my Google Calender.
Couple that is too comfortable with PDA: I'm like exfoliating your nose with my nose
Future dictator: I was thinking about applying to the honor committee so I could know what it feels like to be corrupted by power.
Desperate Bully: You look like a vegan!
Definitely-not-a-vegan: I look… healthy?
Sophomore, ebulliently, to passerby: Hey! How are you? We need to catch up!
Turns away: I hate her.
Sophomore male: I actually really like feet.
Econ Major Boy: Don’t come crying to me when you get robbed at gunpoint for your cat.
Frosh: You guys seem kind of quirky.
Two macho athletes, riding one electric scooter together.
Athlete 1: Dude, no, stop grabbing the handlebars. Grab my waist.
Friend who was asked for advice: Well does it have anything to do with your paper?
Tangent-loving friend: Bitch, don't writing center me.
Mom: Another thing I have to stop is my subscription to Willy Nelson drug tea.
Pensive junior: These relationships are – what’s the word? – anemic.
Philosophy Major: I was going to, then I thought, 'Do I really want to watch a video on ontology right now?'
Judgmental redhead: She’s completely benign, and that’s what sucks about her.