Senior Guy: Freshman girls used to be easy, but now they all, like, have boyfriends.
Junior Guy: Yeah, that's why I'm trying a new approach: I'm going after only pregnant women. Think about it--you KNOW those chicks put out. It's like sex evidence.
Angry Grad Student: If you're going to come to our campus and attend out lectures, you're expected to be cordial and polite...Bitch!
It has been brought to our attention that one of you, no need to mention who, has already lost his pledge pin. pledges, this is unacceptable. for this you will be raped as an example to the other pledges. as is customary, a few of us will convene to elect a team of 9 brothers that will systematically but ruthlessly run train on your brown ass. subsequently, you will be beaten with an extension chord [sic] at our discretion. i think it goes without saying that the ceremonies will conclude with the wearing of the persian eye
goggles, i.e. the resting of our scrotums over your eyes. if you have any questions, don't hesitate to go and fuck yourself.