I'm so fat. I wish I had the will power to be anorexic.
Tour Guide: And that's where I finally came to terms with the fact that I felt alientated.
Old Southern Lady on tour: You was a-weepin' in those shrubs?
Tour Guide: Those shrubs yonder?
Tour Guide: Yeah, pretty much.
Girl 1: What!? Houseparties is in two weeks!?
Girl 2: Yeah, it's coming up fast.
Girl 1: But I'm only halfway through my transformation from
"artsy dork girl" to the "coolest girl in school" for my bet!
Girl 2: Better hurry up, man.
Girl 1: If you were a boy for one day, what would be the first thing you would do?
Girl 2: I think I would get my dick sucked.
Girl 3: Oh my God! I would totally get my dick sucked.
Guy 1: Want to play Robo?
Guy 2: Yeah, but be sure to use only Republican-era quarters.
Get your grubby little 'ands off my prized cock.