BodyHype Newbie: (takes off shirt)
BodyHype Bro: I’ve seen that body on Grindr before.
Lil Jon: Aw, skeet skeet motherfucker, aw, skeet skeet goddamn.
Frenchman: I learned this song before I learned English.
Preceptor: Imperialism isn’t for everyone.
Sophomore: I went to school in Exeter--at Exeter--I went to Exeter.
Girl: One time this guy asked me out and I was like, “you’re my cousin,” and he was like, “no, we’re not related” and he got really offended.
Employee to Boss: There’s just no swiss cheese. There just isn’t any. There is none. There is no swiss cheese. We have parsley. We have ham. There is no swiss cheese.
Male Press Club Member 1: Dude, are those tights?
Male Press Club Member 2, indignant: It’s a thermal base layer!
Blonde shopper, on boyfriend: He pretends he’s an anarchist but he really just loves a nice cardigan on a woman.
Member: Hey, who has my black snapback? It says Margiela on it.
Casanova: So I slapped a mannequin on the ass, and there was this cute guy standing right behind me...Sorry, what was your name again?
Prince: The Office of Information Technology deferred comment to the Office of the Dean of Undergraduate Students, who deferred comment to Housing and Real Estate Services. Housing and Real Estate Services deferred comment to Mbugua for this story.
Girl: How are you?
Guy: Good I just got hosed I’m pretty sad.
St. A’s Senior: Even if I could give myself a blowjob I think that I would choose not to.
Article about male anxiety: Hysteria is so first millennium, welcome to the age of high scrociety!
Young Lady: No, it really got worse. After the whole cancer thing people hate her even more.
BodyHype Senior: I have this friend who can look at a girl and know if she shaves her pubes. He calls it his furdar.