April Showers

April 7, 2019

Verbatim

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Overheard in conversation

Australian junior wearing cheetah print: So what wave of feminism are we on??

Overheard in Walker

Degenerate to degenerate: Who knew porn could be so romantic? ;)

Overheard at Terrace

Self-proclaimed pretentious softboi: When I’m really fucked up, I love talking about how pretentious I am.

Overheard in Murray Dodge Cafe

Pseudo-intellectual: But indulge me in my thought experiment.

Overheard at RoMa

Overeager Ivy sophomore: I was literally BATHING in the tea.

Overheard in Walker

Boyfriend: You know how a lot of people cry after sex? I’m one of them.

Overheard at Starbucks

Girl #1: OMG, you should pull the anxiety card.
Girl #2: Well, of COURSE I already did.

Overheard at late meal

Freshman bro: Do they have protein bars here?

Overheard at the airport

2 y/o girl: I need to kiss him!
4 y/o boy: Get her. Away from me.
2 y/o: *blows kiss*

Overheard in the Bronx

Girl: it's crazy how there are so many emojis, but none of them are relevant to me.

Overheard in Ivy

Junior boy: Not all blonde freshman girls in the same friend group are the same!

Overheard in Wilson

Sophomore Bumble user: Wait okay fuck I love that Bumble is feminist and all but like I just CAN'T make the first move. Like that's just not the vibe.

Overheard on the way to Butler

Defiant international student: The metric system is just so much more aesthetic.

Overheard at Gratitude Yoga

Junior who had just finished her first class: That essential oil thing she does at the end almost made me orgasm!!

Overheard in McDonnell

Second Semester orgo pre-med: I still don't understand bonds…