This week, the Nass reads Sontag, sprains an ankle, and learns how to curl.
Bernie supporter after waiting in line at Flu Fest: I’m an elitist after this experience.
Politically moderate friend: Finally! I've been waiting so long for you to become elitist.
Complimenting friend: Boss.
Power-hungry girlboss: Yes.
Friend: You're a little too comfortable with that one.
Birthday Party: *sings Happy Birthday*
Director of Student Life: That is not an a capella group.
SPIA major after eating a sugar cookie: There should be a section in Wikipedia called “controversy”.
Conflicted Postdoc: Mice are so cute to work with, but in the end you have to kill them, which is annoying.
Concerned friend on children’s TV: You become a different person with Caillou. It's a toxic relationship.
=Confident male junior: Women don't poop.
Philosophizing girl talking to her friend: It’s so much easier to assume that everyone is wrong than it is to assume that anyone is right.
Cookie enjoyer: I know a few public school kids, I'm familiar with people of that background, I guess.
Junior to friends about Junior Academic Honor Code renewal: can we take it together?
Honor code police friend: that's cheating.
Lesbian: This fanny pack is making my nipples hard
Introspective Sophomore: I enjoy being de-personified.
Annoyed math major to gleeful French major: Stop laughing about eigenvalues, you don't even know what that is!
DSL: J Street will not be open next year.
ARCA: Where will all the math majors sleep?
Junior ARCA: I have never been in a room with so many fedoras.