25 Years of Nassau Goodness

November 4, 2004

Healthy

First thing I do when I come home from work every evening is get on the old University cast-off PC and see how my symptoms are doing; listen to my body. I got a little headache some days, a little cold others.

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The Art of American History

It is hidden in a back corner of the Princeton University Art Museum, past the Picasso and Warhol, almost unimaginable in a university art museum. It comes in seventy-seven parts and it comes with security guards.

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Jacob Gold: Man or Machine?

There are many pressing issues that weigh on the mind of our young student population: the war in Iraq, the upcoming elections, the deaths of Jacques Derrida and Christopher Reeve, beer-but in lieu of all that (except, perhaps, the latter-most) I’d like to talk about something that’s been bothering a burgeoning group of people: the nature of Jacob O. Gold.

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Existential Angst with Your Popcorn, Sir?

If you didn’t see I Heart Huckabees over fall break, you’ve missed the latest and most definitive installment in what has been a long string of movies defining a new American genre, which I will call (in appropriate pseudo-irony) Absurd Existentialism.

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The Art of Losing

When Ralph Nader ‘55 concluded his speech in McCosh 50 last month, the 500+ students and faculty who rose in a standing ovation, wildly cheering and applauding, surely knew his presidential candidacy was doomed.

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On Rhetoric

By the time you read this, the president of the United States for the next four years will have been elected.

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So It’s Finally ‘The Year’…

It had to happen sometime. That “1918” chant wasn’t going to hold up forever. Sooner or later, the Babe was going to get tired of haunting his old team…

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Verbatim

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Overheard at Terrace (in reference to a purple jacket recently purchased by gay guy #2)

Gay guy #1: So how purple is it?
Gay guy #2: Oh, it's like a hate crime waiting to happen.

Overheard outside of Cuyler

Cottage guy #1: So when the interviewer from Goldman asks you what skills you have, what do you say?
Cottage guy #2: Uhhh, manipulating women?

Overheard on AIM (regarding Gold Bond powder)

Guy #1: Haha, the only use that I’ve heard from my friends is for numbing the genitals.
Guy #1: Yeah dude, it’s the best. Imagine your nuts eating a york peppermint patty.

Overheard in Prof. Feldherr’s “Classical Mythology” Lecture

If you haven’t read the readings for today, you can go to the texts and read all these pornographic descriptions of the drunken satyrs with their huge, perpetually-erect penises, masturbating and copulating with anything they can get their hands on: with trees, with deer, with nymphs, with anything in sight. That’s what satyrs did when they got together to hang out. They drank, they masturbated all over the place, they had sex with anything they could catch... and they played the flute. It’s a terrible combination.