In six days God created, the heavens and the Earth
But He gave us no way to determine our relative social worth
Well, Princetonians are problem solvers, that’s just our inclination
We’re in the nation’s service, and the service of all nations
In 1879, then, after years and years had passed
From the great minds of us Tigers, a solution came at last
Young Arthur Hawley Scribner did correct God’s awful flub
When, for the worthiest of worthies, he founded Princeton’s Ivy Club
T.I., Cottage, Cannon, Cap, even Tower followed suit
Showed us selective social groups can really be a hoot
So, you’re welcome, world. From our paws came a model you’ll inherit
If you divide ‘em based on social skills–—don’t worry about merit.
For We create what He couldn’t when We conduct our bicker
Three days sessions, two discussions—See! We even do it quicker!