Now that awards season is over, movie theaters around the country can finally relax and release–all at once–what are sure to be the recipients of next year’s Razzie Awards. Fortunately, almost as if to make up for the upcoming deficit of dramatic films, this spring will see the return of two of the best dramas on television. But all good things come at a price. Starting this week and every Sunday at 9 P.M. the fantastical Game of Thrones will be doing battle with the hip new season of Mad Men. So to which one of the two should you loyally devote your Sunday evenings, and which will you leave by the DVR to pick up on a lazy summer day?
Not to worry: I’ve got you covered. Just take this quiz below to save yourself the agony and wasted time that comes with devoting yourself to the wrong hour-long episode each week. Then assemble your viewing party, and enjoy!
A. to root for only one leading character, with a host of supporting characters whose lives revolve around the lead. Mostly because you like to pretend that you’re said lead and the real world revolves around you too.
B. having inner conflicts regarding which character you’re supposed to like, in a show where everyone’s a player and there’s no main lead. Anyone who thinks differently should have their head examined.
Sex. You like (in your television):
A. a lot of it–but tastefully portrayed, mostly concentrated in the single storyline of one suave character.
B. a lot of it–rough, unflinching, crude. Everybody doing it, all the time.
A. Dying is something reserved for the real world. Characters on a TV show can’t help shed light on the human condition if they’re dead. Unless it’s a suicide. Now that’s a device to advance a dragging plotline.
B. You’re not satisfied unless at least one character dies per episode. Alternatively, if someone receives a death-threat or has a near-death experience, that’s good too. There are plenty of fish in the sea, you’re not going to miss a few trout.
On women’s issues:
A. Women belong in the kitchen, on the stage and screen, or as secretaries.
B. You prefer a show, in which even in a man’s world, some women aren’t afraid to be powerful and dominating.
Potential drinking games involve:
A. fine scotches and whiskeys. Drink every time a character drinks. Pass out without finishing any of your work but manage to bring everyone in your Monday precept discussion to tears by sharing your incredible insight into the human psyche.
B. the heartiest ale you can get your hands on. Drink according to a complicated set of rules. Last person to finish chugging at any given moment is to be thrown out of the room–or banished to the far north of campus never to return.
When it comes to violence:
A. There are smarter, more elegant ways of dealing with conflict. The best war is a war of wits.
B. You wouldn’t watch a show without it. Torture, pain, brutality–time-tested methods of getting shit done.
You have a taste for the finer things in life, are deeply nostalgic, and are perhaps a tad regretful you weren’t born in a different era. Mad Men provides that small escape from reality that you need, before you face another Monday working toward your envisioned future–which is decidedly not as glamorous as Don Draper’s life.
You like a little bit of everything and never knowing what to expect. Game of Thrones has all the political intrigue, gore and conflict that you’re glad to live without, even if it makes the week between each new episode seem hopelessly uneventful.