Following the recent defeat of a ban on gay marriage, Senate Republicans are now looking for other ways to bolster their domestic agenda. In today’s press conference at the Capitol, Senators Rick Santorum (R-PA) and Wayne Allard (R-CO) presented their new bill, “The Defense of Pre-Natal Arms Act.”
“We were looking around at the party platform and felt this was a major gap,” said Allard. “I mean, people on our side of the aisle talk about a right to bear arms. They also feel strongly about a fetus’ right to life. What it’s time to start talking about is a fetus’ right to bear arms.”
As currently drafted, the bill would guarantee infants still residing in the womb the full privilege to possess legal firearms, provided they wait the standard five days. They will also, of course, be required to meet the proper requisites of mental stability and lack of major criminal record. Additionally, the fetus may have to undergo special safety training, depending on in which of the fifty states it is in utero.
With an impending crisis in Sudan, a fully realized crisis in Iraq, and recent reports that the domestic economy may be cooling off, some suspect this is just an attempt to rally the conservative base. Senator Joe Lieberman (D-CT) expressed his feelings on the bill:
With such passionate opposition from the Democrats, the Republicans will have their hands full, but they are getting strong support from the leadership. Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist has set the debate on the bill for next week, pushing it ahead of the Boxer/Mikulski bill to save the lives of little innocent starving babies.
Vice President Dick Cheney is also rallying for the cause, telling Senate Democrats out of session that anyone who opposes a “fetus’ right to defense” can “go f— themselves.”
The bill, according to Senator Santorum, is affirming what he considers to be, “just plain common sense.”
“It’s a basic human right to be able to protect yourself and your home,” assessed Santorum. “For a fetus, that means being able to protect itself and the womb with whatever means it sees as fit, whether it be a bee-bee gun or an AK-47.”
Allard and Santorum conceded, however, that the Republican platform is not to grant arms to all fetuses, only those in the third trimester. Some in the medical field, however, fear that a fetus in that stage of development and also toting a handgun could endanger its mother.
“I mean, it may endanger other people, and yes, most notably the mother, but this is a basic right,” Allard argued. “No one can or should deprive someone (or something) of what it deserves.”