1. Bad gumbo.
2. While walking down an alley, Upper East Side, film-noir/cartoon-splat!: a pea-green piano falling from a fourth-floor window or thereabouts.
3. Falling from a fourth-floor window or thereabouts.
4. Eighty years old, at home, with friends, conversation about Rasputin.
6. My son driving, in a Republican funk: exuberant splurt of guano on the windshield (ploughs into truck trucking dildos, or perhaps produce).
7. While barbequing ostrich: a minor forest fire, soon contained.
8. Swallowed the widget.
9. Son’s first boyfriend. Democrat. Thank God. Ironic heart attack.
10. Bludgeoning, proving fatal, at the heavy end of a pool-cue brandished by an academic luminary on a kick about language.