Listen to two or three of the songs off of the album. Pick them from different sections, so it seems like you listened to the whole thing. Also, don’t call them songs. Call them “tracks” or (even better) “cuts” instead.
The toy’s full name was Slapstick: An Authentic Comedy Toy for the Whole Family!TM, Slapstick himself being a kind of flesh-colored kidney-bean-shaped almost-humanoid character with googly eyeballs and kind of oozy chunky rubbery skin (which was in fact made of … Read More
Every spring, the staff of the Nassau Weekly compile a list of things they do not want to see next year. However, I realized it was unnecessary to involve other people in such a task, as I am disproportionately outraged. Also, my therapist thought it would be a useful exercise.
The beach is at once a confusing and wonderful thing to behold. Like a sandbox for man children, the beach is full of all the earthly pleasures one would expect of such a place–one metric ton of white sand, an inflatable treasure chest cooler filled with Coronas, a leafy green palm tree and a speaker from which the country stylings of the Zac Brown Band can regularly be heard.
Behind the scenes of Princeton’s annual alumni event, a small number of dedicated student trucking teams work tirelessly to keep Reunions running smoothly. Responsible for driving a fleet of large box trucks, crews of student truckers single-handedly transport all of … Read More
Bro, Your top three buttons are lazily unfastened, revealing that burly tuft of black chest hair. One motion, succinct: ball in cup. But when I go for the chest bump, you turn away. What is different? What has changed? Are … Read More