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Category: Humor

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Please, No

“Could the old man in the banana suit, sitting across from me in the corner of the train, mumbling obscenities, half-caked in his own vomit…”

by Carson Welch on February 26, 2017February 26, 2017

A Few Thoughts on Zayn Malik

“On the long last day of his life, the Buddha sat perfectly still.”

by Sammy Prentice on February 26, 2017July 20, 2017

The Strand

“My fellow Americans…”

by Peter Schmidt on February 26, 2017

A Brief and True History of That Nagging Feeling You’re Actually a Californian Redwood Tree

You guess it started in middle school when you really related to that photosynthesis unit in intro Biology

by Carson Welch on December 11, 2016

That Precept Kid Reviews Starbucks Snacks

Did you know? I’m in a philosophy of language class.

by Zach Cohen on December 11, 2016February 18, 2017

Reasons I Called P-Safe on My Roomate

There’s nothing worse than a bad roommate.

by staff on November 21, 2016December 5, 2016

The 2016 Election According to Some People in Your Precept

Jen is president of Princeton Young Democrats and Woody Woo Major, ’18. She interned for an assistant to the assistant of a staffer in Elizabeth Warren’s Massachusetts office, is “with her,” metaphorically and literally; she wears a locket with Hilary’s face in it at all times.

by Katherine Shifke on October 24, 2016July 21, 2017

A Brief and True History of Traffic Lights

How we came to live life in red, yellow, and green.

by Carson Welch on October 16, 2016

How to Remember Names

Human connection is beautiful, but one must remember not to dampen that burgeoning fire by committing
the greatest sin of all friendships: forgetting a name.

by Tianyi Wang on October 9, 2016October 16, 2016

10 Things You Absolutely Don’t Need to Bring to College

But Your Mother Will Insist You Do

by Anna Berghuis on October 9, 2016October 10, 2016

A Brief and True History of Adirondack Chairs

Any school child knows that Neil Armstrong was the first man to sit in an Adirondack chair on the moon, but few know the story of its humble roots as a wee embryo in the mind of Thomas Lee.

by Carson Welch on October 2, 2016

How to Write a Pitchfork Album Review

Listen to two or three of the songs off of the album. Pick them from different sections, so it seems like you listened to the whole thing. Also, don’t call them songs. Call them “tracks” or (even better) “cuts” instead.

by Samuel Bollen on September 26, 2016October 2, 2016


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