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Byline: Samuel Bollen

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Welcome to WolfWorld

There’s only wolves and people left.

by Samuel Bollen on October 24, 2016

Everyone except for the dinosaurs

Samuel Bollen on Dinosaurs.

by Samuel Bollen on October 2, 2016

How to Write a Pitchfork Album Review

Listen to two or three of the songs off of the album. Pick them from different sections, so it seems like you listened to the whole thing. Also, don’t call them songs. Call them “tracks” or (even better) “cuts” instead.

by Samuel Bollen on September 26, 2016October 2, 2016

Give a Glimpse of What Yer Not

Their new album, Give a Glimpse of What Yer Not, doesn’t reinvent the band’s sound; however, it does contain some of their best work. This is a natural extension of a long career, not just a cute or tired continuation of it.

by Samuel Bollen on August 30, 2016October 2, 2016

Slapstick

The toy’s full name was Slapstick: An Authentic Comedy Toy for the Whole Family!TM, Slapstick himself being a kind of flesh-colored kidney-bean-shaped almost-humanoid character with googly eyeballs and kind of oozy chunky rubbery skin (which was in fact made of … Read More

by Samuel Bollen on August 11, 2016

Lester in Love

I: For a neurotic weenie you sure seem to be a man of action.
L: Yeah, well sometimes.

by Samuel Bollen on April 24, 2016October 2, 2016

Interview with Lester, Functional Humanoid

She looked at me and turned her thingie off. And said typical. And then turned over and kept vibrating.

by Samuel Bollen on April 16, 2016October 2, 2016

Peer Review

Since the beginning of time, editors at The Nassau Weekly have taken their pens to each other’s Common Application Essays. And yes, The Nassau Weekly has been around since the beginning of time.

by Samuel Bollen, Zach Cohen on April 10, 2016October 2, 2016

The Nass Reviews Flaked

This show is like the less-funny, homosocial version of Love except there’s still chicks in it and dudes who are bad at talking to them.

by Carson Welch, Samuel Bollen on April 3, 2016October 2, 2016

Soap Poem

found an old bar of yr soap in the bathroom closet more like i found it in the store (amazon) n bought it n brought it home n bathed myself w it n had a v v emotional time ie … Read More

by Samuel Bollen on April 3, 2016July 20, 2017

Liking Love

The first few episodes feature some pretty conventional plot devices, but the characterization and dialogue have a loose, awkward, and very human quality to them.

by Samuel Bollen on March 6, 2016October 2, 2016

A Not-Sonnet

Chamomile tea gets me off More than getting me off does See also: girls laughing at my jokes & 90s video games   Can we go back to your place? Sure, but only if you’re down To smoke dope & … Read More

by Samuel Bollen on February 28, 2016February 28, 2016


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