Top 5 Pop Songs I Love No Matter What They Say
1) “Beautiful,” Christina Aguilera
2) “Always be My Baby,” Mariah Carey
3) “Kissed by a Rose,” Seal
4) “Crazy in Love,” Beyonce Knowles
5) “I Try,” Macy Gray

Well, after being bestowed with the MVC(Most-Valued-Cashier) by the Spectator, I felt compelled to return the favor by bestowing awards on my most loyal fans. After all, where would I be without them? So without further ado and without all the fanfare of large scale expensive award ceremonies that drag on for hours on end - I present the awards for 2005.

Will Ryan Foss, Will Wachter, or Ivana King be the Nassau Weekly’s Single Kid? Readers: the decision is in your hands.

Lately, people have been asking me a lot where I’ve been for the past few days. Well it’s funny they should ask. Let me tell you, it all started when I remembered, on Thursday, that there were no new OC episodes because of some retarded baseball series on ...

Porter White

The first months of freshman year went by so quickly. I hooked up with the guy who became my boyfriend within days of arriving on campus, and my friends and I managed to garner the attention of what seemed like every other guy on campus. We even created a detailed ...

Daring, bold 5'9" Jewish M with extreme good looks has decided not to be daring and bold by placing an ad for a similarly attractive F, height < 5'8". Think Annie Hall for a better looking, more bold and daring Alvy Singer. If you don't know what I'm talking about, it might not work.

The inspiration for this guide struck me with its +4 Fire Damage Hammer of Glor'goth when I realized just how much of the day I spend talking about MMORPGs alone, never mind playing. I cannot claim complete authority on this diverse topic, but for you, dear reader, I shall elucidate some of those peculiar things you might have heard that group of strange non-J.Crew-clad folk babbling about at the dining table next to yours.

We here at The Nassau Weekly love to hate the The Prince. Yet as the events surrounding the Printsanything scandal unfolded, we found that even our cold hearts were moved to sympathy. Sure, the Gaily Printsanything made us all shudder with embarrassment, like when our old uncle Herbert reenacts a ...

Princeton University is a warped, funhouse mirror image of Hollywood, where the oldest and least attractive people are the stars and the beautiful children of privilege pay high prices to stand briefly in their presence. Like Princeton, Hollywood is a destination for the ambitious - heroes on a quest to make ...

1.Suzanne Westbrook
2.Jesus of Nazareth
3.Julian the Apostate
4.Robbie George
5.Stefan McDaniel
6.Martin Heidegger
7.Mammon, God of Wealth
8.Paul of Tarsus
9.Sara Viola
10.John Maynard Keynes
11.Hannah Arendt
12.Will ‘The Scharf’s Scharf’ Scharf
13.Karl Marx
14 ...

We wish to apologize for an error in our last issue. Jurgen Habermas is not, in fact, dead. He is alive and well. Not only this, but Gilles Deleuze, famed French anarcho-philosopher, is no longer dead. Upon reading our illustrative magazine, both intellectual heavyweights have agreed to write their own ...

George Nathaniel Curzon, 1st Marquess Curzon of Kedleston, KG, GCSI, GCIE, PC was a man few of us can afford to forget. Besides keeping the bloody Russians out of India, he wore a metal corset to combat a spinal injury from horseback riding – no sissy chiropractics for the Viceroy of ...

Ad Pulcherissimam Fireassam Mariannam
These humid days
Tend to craze
More than desert sun.
But if her heat
Will join this heat
Then come come Delirium!

Two weeks ago, the October 4 issue of the Nassau Weekly ran a cover lamenting the entirely fictional passing of Juergen Habermas. While our last issue intended to remedy what was supposed to be a humorous presentation of our lack of journalistic integrity, we realize that what is needed is ...

If you are reading this article, you are surely already aware that April 20 marks the annual celebration of cannabis. In the spirit of the holiday, I would like to offer a little tribute to this strange plant that has enhanced our lives in such wonderful ways.